Conflicted

I do two things to deal with the stress and chaos of the world.  I go hiking to think and clear my mind.  Anything still lingering on my mind ends up on here.  I never thought I would be writing on here.  A friend suggested it.  I thank her for that.  It is somewhat therapeutic.

I am so conflicted tonight I can’t even focus on a single topic.  My mind is a maelstrom of wars, taxes, wages, affordability, corporate politics, family strife, male egos, religious hypocrisy, propaganda, price gouging, corruption, the list goes on and on.  Maybe a topic will materialize through stream of conscious thought.

I didn’t vote or pay attention to the news until Trump.  Why then?  I realized we had just elected the biggest idiot on the planet into a position of power.  It scared the shit out of me.  I was afraid every day at what new horror would face me as I crawled out of bed.

I still can’t believe the number of people who justify sitting back and letting things play themselves out.  I could understand if this was simple politics.  But it isn’t.  This is so much more.  It encompasses morals, human rights, medicine, food, pedophilia and genocide.  This is about looking deep within yourself and asking – how would I feel if I was the person of color being sent to a concentration camp or being deported.  How would I feel if I were homeless in Ukraine going into the winter again.  How would I feel if I were a Palestinian in Gaza ridden with disease, no food or shelter and my homeland a wasteland?

I think a lot of Americans, especially the ones who can’t be bothered to feel, to look at someone else’s perspective, or to spend time helping someone else outside of some computer clicks, have become complacent in their own excuses to justify living in a bubble.  As long as I don’t have to see it or hear about it, I can pretend it doesn’t exist.  I need this bubble because it is really hard to cope right now.  I disagree.  We should be popping these bubbles, not strengthening them.

I know I’m spoiled.  I am not rich, but I have food, shelter, electricity, a computer, tv, and a car.  Compared to people in Gaza, I live like a king.  I make a point to imagine what these people are going through.  I refuse to live in a bubble while other people suffer.  I try to take a pin to that bubble as much as possible and remind myself that I am truly fortunate.  If it is emotionally stressful to think about the news, then I need to grow stronger, not ignore the news and pretend other people’s pains aren’t my problem.